16-18 Year Old Counselling

“I need someone to talk to, but I’m not being heard…”

The teenage years are tricky, where change seems to be the only aspect that is consistent! Teenagers might keep things to themselves around their parents because they worry about being judged or not understood. This is where counselling can help, giving them the space to explore their thoughts and feelings in a safe, non-judgmental environment. Read on to find out about typical teenage mental health struggles, how counselling helps and some things to consider when bringing a teenager to counselling.

Teenagers might struggle with…

A separation, break up or divorce

A bereavement or loss

Bullying

Being neurodiverse and coping with ADHD/Autism etc

Anxiety

Depression

Stress

Trauma

Self-Harm

Suicidal Thoughts

Body Image Issues

Social Isolation and Loneliness

Identity and Self-Esteem

Signs of poor mental health in teenagers

Sudden behaviour changes e.g. withdrawal, irritability, or aggression.

Extreme mood swings.

Difficulty focusing or concentrating.

Sleep changes such as insomnia or oversleeping.

Appetite like overeating or undereating.

Loss of interest.

Unexplained physical pains.

Self-Harm e.g. cutting.

Substance abuse e.g. drink or drugs.

Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness or suicidal thoughts.

How counselling could help a teenager

Finding their voice: They might discover a newfound ability to express themselves freely.

Lightbulb moments: Insights might pop up like “aha” moments during their sessions.

Confidence boost: As they feel truly heard and understood, their self-confidence can grow.

Toolbox for life: They’ll start building their own kit of strategies to handle whatever life throws their way.

A dependable ally: Knowing they have someone they can trust unconditionally can be a game-changer.

Some things to consider as a parent when bringing a teenager to counselling.

Taking your child to counselling might raise various concerns. Here are two common reasons why this process might feel challenging:

1. You might feel that your child’s therapy may expose your mistakes and shortcomings as a parent or that you’ve done ‘wrong’ and are now to blame for the situation your child is in.

2. You might see counselling as a ‘fix’ to what you see as ‘bad’ behavior in your teenage child, whether it’s self-harm, angry outbursts, substance misuse, or being disrespectful. It can be frustrating if the counsellor doesn’t share your views on what needs to happen, especially as you’re paying for the sessions! This can be especially true in separation or divorce situations where the ‘other’ partner might disagree on the need for counselling or what happens in counselling.

With both these points, it is important to recognise that a counsellor’s priority is with your child and not you as parents. The counsellor’s goal is to understand and help your child in expressing their feelings in a healthier and more appropriate manner. Teenagers look for ways to understand and come to terms with their rapidly changing selves and are often glad to find someone they can do this alongside with who is able to support them in a safe environment without judgement.

The acknowledgement of their experiences and emotions can help them improve self-esteem and self-awareness. Counselling helps your child develop healthier coping mechanisms and communication skills, equipping them with the tools to navigate challenges and relationships more effectively. Ultimately, this promotes their overall well-being and mental health.

My teenager doesn’t want counselling but I think they need it!

You shouldn’t force your child to come to counselling even if you think it’s best for them. Engagement with the process is essential so I would always advise that you get consent from your child.

My child is under 16, can you see them?

My training and insurance allows me to see anyone 16 years or older or those that are deemed ‘Gillick’ or ‘Fraser’ competent. What this means is that at 16, a young person is presumed to have sufficient capacity to decide on their own treatment (or counselling in this case), unless there’s significant evidence to suggest otherwise. However, some children below that age are mature enough to understand and make mature decisions about their treatment. This is called ‘Gillick’ or ‘Fraser’ competent’ where the child has sufficient understanding and intelligence to fully comprehend the proposed treatment, its implications, and potential consequences.

Also, I am not technically a ‘play’ therapist which is a preferred style of counselling for younger children that involves toys, games, art, and other creative activities to help children express their emotions. My style of counselling is more about face to face talking intended for more mature clients, typically 16 plus, who are more comfortable expressing themselves by talking. Having said that we can agree to draw/doodle/sketch, play a board game or cards to help your child feel more at ease.

Are you able to share what goes on in my child’s sessions?

What your child shares in a counselling session is confidential between us. I won’t disclose any specific details of what they’ve said or done unless there are concerns about their safety or the safety of someone else. However, your child is free to talk to you about their sessions if they choose to.

My child is autistic/has ADD/ADHD.

As well as counselling, I support SEN teenagers with their learning at a local college. I have taken various courses and continuing professional development in working with various learning difficulties so I am well versed in supporting neurodiverse individuals. Every client I see is unique so I will always do my best to make the the counselling experience as inclusive and individual as I can. That might mean, to name a few examples, not having a ticking clock in the room, providing a bean bag as an alternative to a chair or maybe having a break in the middle of the session.

Can I see you without telling my parents?

Like adults, if you are aged 16 or 17, you are presumed to have sufficient capacity to decide on your own treatment (‘treatment’ being counselling in this case), unless there’s significant evidence to suggest otherwise. Having said that, I would always urge you to tell your parents that you are seeking counselling.

Counselling stories

My client work, as you can imagine, is very private and confidential. However, I have created a few fictitious examples of person-centred counselling scenarios, one of them below, so you can get a flavour of how it might help you. They’re in PDF format and don’t worry, they’re quite short!

Matt – coping with college and Dad’s death

Why Get In Touch?

BACP registered and qualified counsellor
Safe, non-judgemental and confidential
No pressure, go at your own pace!
Fully insured and enhanced DBS checked
Trauma-Informed and non-pathologising
Neurodiversity aware e.g Autism/ADD/ADHD/Dyslexia
UK-wide online counselling
Face to face counselling within a 5 mile radius of Albaston e.g. Gunnislake, Calstock, Harrowbarrow, St. Ann’s Chapel, Metherell, Callington, Stoke Climsland, Bere Alston
contact Me